Upasana, the protagonist of the novel EYE FOR AN I, is discussing philosophical ideas while travelling in a car with her ‘uncle’ Mr. Anand. Vivek is a character who has recently experienced enlightenement, and he loves Upasana as his daughter.

With a loud honking, a blue van overtook their car. On its rear window was a sticker proclaiming: Love is fraud. Anand chuckled. “Well, is love God? Or is it fraud?” he quizzed. “Love being equal in both the equations, doesn’t it imply that God is fraud?”

“But love isn’t equal in these two statements,” Upasana protested. “When one loves with an expectation of return that doesn’t get reciprocated, one says, ‘Love is a fraud’. But in true love, there aren’t any desires or motives. The lover sees God in the beloved,” she said, but then corrected herself as she thought of Vivek’s state, “No, there is no separate lover and separate beloved. There is only the divine state of love—and this love is God!

“Have you learned much about Indian religion, Upasana? Your mother wasn’t at all religious, whereas Curfew is so orthodox and superstitious. When you talk of the lover and the beloved as one, you talk of the Hindu concept of Advaita—non-duality.”

“I’ve not studied any scriptures; nor have I been inside a temple or church as a devotee—I feel embarrassed bowing before a stone image,” she replied.

“But your concept of God is the Hindu view; you are a Hindu at heart.”

“Uncle, my words may be English, my explanations Hindu, my quotations Christian, but the truth, the love, the god I speak of, is neither Hindu nor Christian nor Muslim. There is no author of the truth, of love, of God; they are their own authority.”

“Yes, I agree there’s no author of God. God is Swayambhu. You know, Swayam is ‘self’ and bhu—birth. Well, God is self-born or self-evolved.”

“God is also Abhu—the unborn—or rather, one who is never born,” Upasana rejoined. Vivek always referred to her as Abhu. “Love and truth, too, are swayambhu or abhu. We cannot fabricate love or truth,” she declared.

“You speak with a rare conviction, Upasana, as if you have found God,” Anand said.

“God is not found, Uncle, God is experienced.”

“And you’ve experienced God!”

“No, not yet. But I know one who has,” she said.

“So, what you are saying is mere hearsay.”

“True, but then all that is written in the holy books—the Bible, the Quran, the Gita—isn’t that also hearsay till you experience the truth for yourself?” she retorted.

“Now this is heresy!” he protested. “The scriptures embody ‘revealed’ truths.”

“Uncle, even if God Himself proclaims a truth, it’s hearsay as long as it isn’t directly experienced,” she continued defiantly. “Love is experienced at first hand, so also is truth. All that’s spoken or written about them is hearsay.”

“But people do look up to God,” Anand interrupted.

“God shouldn’t give one a pain in the neck, but that’s all one gets if one keeps looking up to him. Why shouldn’t we strive to rise to His level instead? To keep God on a pedestal and worship Him would merely add to the poor chap’s loneliness. God wants a friend! He wants to be realised!” she exclaimed.

“Oh, you mean God Realisation,” Anand mumbled, and then lapsed into silence. “Love is fraud,” he abruptly blurted. “We all are split personalities suffering from split-vision, seeing double meaning in everything—even in God, even in love. And we prefer to believe the baser meaning—for it is spicier.”

“Perhaps we do need spice to enliven our bland lives,” Upasana quipped jovially, but her heart became heavy as her mind recalled the offensive words of the anonymous caller who had tried to malign Vivek’s love for her.

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